Transcript: Stress

Hello beautiful friends. Welcome back. Welcome back. How lovely to see your sweet faces once again. Your listening practice today is, well, we'll talk about stress. How to stop stress. How to lessen stress. How to have less stress!

And we'll practice the first conditional while we chat: (if + present simple + will + infinitive)

The transcript, the transcript is on my new site. SimpleEnglishBooks.com and a little 'like' fills my old heart, my heart with joy. So get comfortable, relax, get a cup of tea and let's chat.

Hello, I'm Tristan, I've been an English EFL teacher for 12 years, in 5 countries, teaching over 1600 students, and speaking three languages. On this podcast I speak in simple English about fascinating topics - so you learn English naturally.

What is stress? First, stress is when you feel worried, tense or under pressure. Stress is when you think too much or do too much, making you feel always tired or upset.

Synonyms for stress are 'tension', 'worry', 'nervousness', 'anxiety'. But today, we will learn to have less of that! And we'll practice the first conditional at the same time.

The first conditional is (if + present simple + will + infinitive).

Examples:

• If you manage your stress you will be happier.
• If you're happier, you will create a better home environment.

It is said that long term stress is worse for our body, worse than moderate drinking alcohol or even smoking. Well, moderately. Stress kills! So let's together reduce and lower our stress.

If we're able to control our stress, we will live peacefully (first conditional). If we control our stress, we will improve our life experience and it will be positive for the people around us.

Sometimes, don't you find you can feel stress physically? You can feel it rise inside your body? Sometimes I can feel that feeling rise inside me and I'm like "whoa Tristan, let's relax".

Let's start with a quote, from the great author Aldous Huxley in simpler English. Aldous Huxley wrote the novel Brave New World by the way. Okay,

Aldous Huxley says,
"It's dark because you are trying too hard.
Lightly child, lightly.
Learn to do everything lightly.
Yes, feel it lightly even though you're feeling it deeply.
Just lightly let things happen and lightly deal with them.

Back then I was too serious and didn't laugh much. Someone gave me great advice. Take things lightly.
And even when thinking about the end of life, no need to be too heavy or too serious.
No big speeches or drama.
And forget about complicated ideas about existence or God. Just the fact of dying and the fact of clear light.

Let go of all of your worries.
There are things that will try to pull you down into fear and sadness.
That's why you should not let things weigh you down. Move through life easily, and without carrying a lot of burdens."
Aldous Huxley.
(Simplified by myself)

Beautiful. Before we continue I'll teach the first conditional. It's a magical formula that looks a little something like this (if + present simple + will + infinitive verb). We use it to talk about possible future events. Future events that will probably happen. Example: if it rains, you will get wet. If you study for the test, you will pass.

If you manage your stress, you will be healthier. These things are probably going to happen. If it's probably going to happen we use the first conditional. If we do not manage our stress, it will lead to many problems.

First we'll discuss the negative effects of stress. Then, the solutions (ways to fix it = solutions).

By the way, today's information comes from trusted websites: Mayo Clinic, American Psychological Association, and the UK National Health Service, and like always, my own experiences thrown in the mix a little bit.

If we're stressed, we will feel tired all the time. There is also evidence of stress leading to anxiety, depression, inability to concentrate, loss of memory - so you forget things more and it affects your decision making (decision making = your ability to make decisions).

If we're unable to manage stress, we will not sleep well which then makes us more stressed and then we get in a horrible stress kinda wheel that never ends! A never ending stress cycle!

In my experience, this is a big problem actually. I wake up maybe three times every night. Is that normal? I don't think so. How many times do you wake up each night? Tell me in the comments. Also tell me how you stress less? Share your ideas with your fellow learners. Also, our blood pressure and risk of heart disease increases.

Our skin will look uh not very nice - like mine probably. Or maybe that's because I'm now back in England now so, no sun, right? Famously so!

Stress can cause our hair to become thinner and also fall out easier. Bingo! I have them all. Actually, one friend of mine, one friend of mine in my hometown lost all of his hair and his eyebrows and everything!

If your muscles are stressed, you will get more headaches, more back pain, neck pain. And the worst thing, the worst thing - you'll age quicker, oh no! And you'll look ten years older! Oh! Or, you can look ten years younger, eh? Let's talk about the solutions, eh?

Let's be positive now. How do we avoid stress? 'Avoid' means how can we not be stressed. If we avoid stress we will have healthier lives. Stress makes waves, big storm-like waves causing us to lose direction. So together let's calm these waters to reach the island of joy and peace.

So, top tips to avoid stress using the first conditional:

⭐ Practice acceptance.
If we accept, truly accept what is happening, accept what is happening now in this moment, we will find peace. Just like a sailor must accept the direction of the wind. Stress often comes from resisting what is happening – from fighting against the waves, trying to over-control the direction of the boat. We must accept the situation whether it's a calm sea or a fierce storm.

My personal life philosophy is: we can try to control the direction of the boat, but in the end, we must accept and surrender to the universe (or to God) to take you down the river in the direction it wants. At some point, we have to accept its direction. Even in the Lord's Prayer, right? It says "Your will be done". This is acceptance of the rhythms of the universe. "Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven" – blah, blah, blah. But I love that first line!

So we can try our own direction but at some point (if your hair is falling out and if you're not sleeping) allow the river to take you in its natural direction. Pull in the oars, take in the sail and let the river flow. Not everything is under our control – and it never will be.

⭐ Exercise regularly.
If you exercise regularly, your body will release endorphins. Endorphins are the feel-good hormones, the feel-good chemicals in your body that make you feel good. And you are always in control of how much you exercise.

From now on, before I use the first conditional, you'll hear a star, a sparkling sound! A sparkling star sound, okay? So you can identify the first conditional easier.

⭐ Talk about your feelings.
If you talk about your feelings, you will not feel alone. It's okay to share your journey with friends sometimes.

⭐ Set realistic and achievable goals.
If you set realistic goals, you won't be overwhelmed. Or, if you set achievable goals, you will not be stressed. Lots of my stress personally comes from very long 'to do' lists that are just not necessary or even achievable. I don't know why I do it!
If you set achievable goals, you will not be stressed by impossible expectations.

⭐ Sleep better.
If you sleep better, you will be less stressed. Sleep is so important for your cells, mind, memory, body, and more.

Quick tips: try not to drink coffee or caffeine after 1pm or limit how much coffee you drink. Go to sleep and wake up at the same times every day – your body will get used to it. Lessen your screen time before bed because the blue light keeps you awake. Try to sleep in cooler, colder rooms.

⭐ Go for a walk.
If you go for a walk, you will clear your mind – reducing stress. If you feel stressed, go for a little walk. Being in a different scene removes us from the stress, clears our mind and also helps us think creatively and from new points of view.

The next one is a good one.

⭐ Learn to say 'no'.
If you learn to say no, you won't feel overwhelmed. Politely say 'no'. Say no to extra responsibilities. If you do not want to do it, say no. Do not be afraid to say no to people. Otherwise, you'll be stressed because you won't have time for the things you want to do.

Jeff Bezos says stress comes from not doing the things you should be doing. He says stress is from inaction rather than action. In the last six months, I was asked to be the best man at two friends' weddings.

The best man has to make a speech, organize the party before the wedding – many responsibilities. To look after the rings! So I was asked to be the best man twice and I had to say no to one of them. I had to say no! Otherwise, I would not be talking to you right now and I would not have finished writing my book, which would have stressed me out.

⭐ Spend time in nature.
If we spend time in nature, our spirits – your gentle soul – will lift. There's nothing like a walk in the forest amongst the ancient wisdom and sounds of the trees and the wind, or the song of the ocean's waves, to help us remember what life really is and who we truly are.

It helps us forget about the man-made problems of the city that don't actually naturally exist. On a deeper level, these man-made problems are just a collective story – a fiction that human beings, as a group, tell themselves. It's all just, on a natural level, temporary noise actually, nonsense. 

In a thousand years, they will not be there. The problems people had a hundred years ago? Who cares about them now?

But the natural world is always there, and will always be there, and always was there! And there’s a connection and a kind of subconscious, deeper wisdom that you can connect with in nature. No? What do you think? Or am I just being an old hippie? Anyway, for me, spending time in it gives a more real perspective on things.

In the end, we're just a monkey on a rock. A monkey on a rock at the very edge, at the very edge of our galaxy. Nothing we do actually matters, so enjoy life! And at some point the human race will end, and so will our planet, will end. And our sun will end, and our galaxy will end. Scientifically, because it will burn out and its energy will finish.

So whatever you do, it will be forgotten about in a hundred years. Don't take it too seriously – try to enjoy life. Next, to practice gratitude.

⭐ Practice gratitude.
I know this sounds very cheesy, very cliché, but to say our thanks to life, to the universe, or 'God', or to whatever forces that be, for what we have is transformational. For me, this one is maybe the most important one.

Before we go to bed in the evening or first thing in the morning, we can say our thank yous maybe, for whatever you like in your life - your family, or thank you to the fact that we have food on the table, water access, our health. Remember, many people do not have these things. If you practice 'gratitude' (meaning, to be thankful for what you have), this will give you a more positive mindset.

Next, I guess this next one is super – a bit 'woo woo' and maybe too hippy for some of you – but meditation, yeah?

⭐ Meditate.
If a person meditates, they will be calmer.

There's a reason why monks and Buddhists have been doing this for thousands and thousands and thousands of years. Basic meditations and mindfulness practice, it really really does work. But it's also such a big topic that we'll do another podcast about it another time. For now, do your own research online – I recommend.

Okay, so if you like or if you loved this podcast, please like and subscribe, follow – I would deeply appreciate it. Share it and, the absolute best thing you can do is leave a five-star review, yea! On Spotify, Apple or wherever, Castbox.

So friends, until we meet again, may your days be filled with peaceful seas and calm winds. 

Farewell beautiful listeners across the seas. And cheers, cheers to less stress and more adventures, and better English.

Listen again to understand more of it, and if you do listen again, do some pronunciation practice by 'shadowing' what I say.

What shadowing is, is you copy what I say right after I say it. You copy my exact pronunciation without pressing stop on your media player. You just copy a little sentence here, a little sentence there, a little phrase here, a little word there – and it also improves your pronunciation as well as your listening.

Okay, lots of love and see you next time. Have a great week ❤️